I have been writing a lot, once again, only this time, with my eyes. Here's a little something from my chapter 'On Oneness':
On the long shot that they find a cure for this disease, I will not return to pastoring. Instead, I would go back to school, get a degree in Physical Therapy, and devote the rest of my life to giving away hope. I would also run a side business where I invite people to sit on my front porch with me, and we soul explore together. Mostly, they talk, I listen, and then I ask them one or two questions, and we find ourselves in a whole new realm of existence and connection to each other and the Oneness.
In addition, I would only work the number of hours I needed to contribute to supporting our family with Kristy, as she has a great many ways of supporting our family. To know Kristy is to want to be around Kristy, so people just hire her, if for nothing else than just being a presence. If you don’t know Kristy this way, then unfortunately, it probably stems from her not liking you. Of course, it might not be that she doesn’t like you; it might just be that you had trouble breaking through her RBF. I remember one day early on in our marriage, probably around day four, I asked her what was wrong? To which she replied, “Nothing! Stop asking me that. This is just my normal.” Ah. Duly noted. In my defense, we chose not to live or sleep together before we got married, so I had a lot of new stuff coming at me all at once.
As many of you know, I also sometimes suffered from RBF, and as luck would have it, I will live the rest of my life wearing just one face, but we’re calling this Resting Brian Face. It turns out my mom was right. “If you keep making that face, then your face is going to get stuck like that.” Damn!
The point being, we would make what we need and only what we need and spend the rest of our time being together with our kids, neighbors, and friends, investing all we have into presence and love. Telling our lives how we were going to spend them and not bowing to the pressure of letting work or chaos or busyness or other people telling us how to spend our lives.
My encouragement to you is to go after love at all costs. You will not be disappointed.