There is no video update as I don’t have the mental capacity for it. I will say that if our days are truly numbered, then I’m fairly certain my expiration date was October 2022. But science.
In early October, I developed a cough that I told Kristy felt different than my normal cough. I was experiencing shortness of breath and was just feeling awful.
On the evening of October 10, Kristy sat in a chair next to my bed all night, administering coughing treatments all night and at 6 a.m., she sent my pulmonologist a text. He said, “call an ambulance and I’ll meet you at the hospital.” So, on October 11, the ambulance came and took me away.
The last thing I remember is telling my doctor in the ER that I still have some things I want to teach my kids, so do your best to keep me around. Fourteen days later, I woke up around the same time as my friend Crispin would say “when the machines woke up.” Meaning I woke up fully trached. It turned out that I had the flu and was possibly developing pneumonia. My ability to breathe on my own was completely compromised. So, I am now officially alive thanks to machines. I checked into Hotel Ochsner on October 11 and spent the next 23 days in ICU only about 6 of which I was cognitively aware of because it took weeks for my body to rid itself of all of the drugs. Now I’m headed to some type of transition facility where the family and I can get used to this new life. I’m ready to be home but I’m also nervous, so we will go to the transition house for a little while. I know when I get home and have quality rest, I will be able to find the beauty in this.
I am still convinced that life is a beautiful clusterfuck and love is here. This part has been a total clusterfuck. This has been the darkest, scariest month of my life. Although I will say my doctors, nurses, and family and friends have been pure love. And I woke up. So, there is beauty. But sometimes it’s a pure clusterfuck, and we have to call it like we see it. As I read over this and talk to Kristy about timelines, even now, I’m not sure all of the toxins are out of my body, as many of my memories feel like Swiss cheese. So, hopefully, this comes through with some level of clarity.
Love.